Dumbing Me Down Again

Dumbing me down. Dumbing me down again. Dumbing me down. Dumbing me down, again.

Unbiased news you say, or is it Calculated Neutral News. Maybe you can call it Fixed News…. Or, perhaps, Negative Nightly News. What about Cheap Biased Sensationalism, or Neutral Biased Chatter? Or maybe Mostly Soft Neutral Biased Chatter?

I’m really not in the mood for any real news that might pertain to ordinary real lives. I don’t want independent views about economic or political reality. It might get complicated, and I may get a headache.

I want political correctness. I want to spend the better part of my hour watching hosts and their guests squabble about their already biased views, without shedding light on anything in particular. I am personally fond of the Already Biased Channel.

And I just love repetition. I want to hear that hot story at least fifty to hundred times a day. Mainly because I have no attention span.

I clearly understand that you need not obligate your news with the truth, because your sponsors, or guests might really get upset.

I also enjoy it when news stations are strictly patriotic. I don’t want to hear news anchors conversing anything negative about our causes. Our country is never wrong, our leaders always make unquestioned, unchecked, inconsistencies. I’m okay with that. Aren’t you?

Editorial you say? I only want celebrity rubbish. I want to know who is dating whom. I want the latest knockdown slamdunk whodunnit type of deals.

Do I care if five to nine media giants  are controlling my TV? Absolutely not. That’s more watercooler chatter.

I’m also geographically challenged. I probably won’t get it if nearly all of my news is broadcasted in, from, or around downtown New York or Washington, D.C. This would not bias news in any way.

I just love politics anyway. I believe that there are only two sides of the truth, Democrat truth, and Republican truth. Don’t you agree? I also understand that a president should pre-screen audience questions. That way he doesn’t get hit with hard questions, and he might not invite you back. After all, you don’t want to come across the networks as being rude, or pushy.

And my trust in your news means that I will never be dumbed down again. Please don’t let me down.